physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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