a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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