no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize