I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
