I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize