: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
