Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
