Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
