No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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