im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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