69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
