I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
