so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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