how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
