I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
