your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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