Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
