How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
