if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think a kid would responsible me up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
