I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
