rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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