you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
