dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
