Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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