Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize