Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
