Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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