Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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