yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
