Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize