saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
