i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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