I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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