Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
