honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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