Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
