literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Send help, water and tortillas.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Randomize
