Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
