porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
