and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize