If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
