The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
