like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
