My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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