hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
