she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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