no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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