so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
