would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
