people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
