I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
