Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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