everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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