areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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