Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
