Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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