Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
