you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
