can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
