So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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