You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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