yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i drank out of a bidet.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
