please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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