Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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