I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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