Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm both gender and math confused
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize