So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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